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Now - now you’ve got to be like, ‘OK, what are the chances that this player gets his news from Facebook?’” - TREVOR NOAH The Bits Worth Watching Because it used to be when you drafted players you only had to take into account their injury history or their team’s off-season moves. And yes, I’m talking about those of us who play fantasy sports. He’s not Kyrie Irving, he’s Bernie Madoff.” - JIMMY KIMMEL I mean, Aaron Rodgers let everyone around him think he was vaccinated when he wasn’t.
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Kyrie Irving is wrong, but at least he’s honest. “A lot of people are also comparing Aaron Rodgers to Kyrie Irving, and that’s not fair. “How does someone who almost hosted ‘Jeopardy’ come up with 40 incorrect responses in a row?” - JIMMY KIMMEL Like just once I’d love to see him out there on the field, like, ‘Forget pads and helmets, I’ve decided to cover myself in manuka honey.’” - TREVOR NOAH He’s never applying independent thinking to the rest of his body. “But you can tell how politics has just infected the entire vaccine debate, right, because you’ll never see Aaron Rodgers doing this to anything else.
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And I don’t know, you ever notice how all the independent thinkers are doing the exact same thing? Right? It’s not like they’re all coming up with different ideas, like, ‘I’m an independent thinker, what are my thoughts, Joe Rogan? Tell me about my independent thoughts!” - TREVOR NOAH “So Rodgers basically says that he’s an independent thinker who doesn’t want to be told what to do with his body. “He said he tested negative over 300 times before testing positive, which is the same kind of logic your 95-year-old grandmother uses to justify keeping her driver’s license.” - JIMMY KIMMEL He’s been playing some very spotty defense this weekend.” - JIMMY KIMMEL “The pope of Green Bay is quarterback Aaron Rodgers. “It’s a big day, actually, for Big Bird because immediately after getting vaccinated, he was signed by the Green Bay Packers.” - JIMMY FALLON The Punchiest Punchlines (Spotty Defense Edition) I mean, who are you siding with, the beloved and iconic children’s character widely celebrated over a half a century by people of all ages and backgrounds from all parts of the world, or a widely disliked wannabe werewolf with the charm of a serial killer and the voice of a dying barn owl who was once called ‘Lucifer in the flesh’ by one of his fellow Republicans after another fellow Republican joked he was so unpopular you could murder him and get away with it.” - SETH MEYERS
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